No Failure is Final

Icried that day! It was the beginning of my 2nd year in the university. The examination officer had just released the result transcripts for the previous session. I’ve always known that numbers don’t lie. But that day, the reality hit home for me. The numbers booed me from the paper; “3rd class!” As hot tears streamed down my cheeks, I recalled the zest and optimism I’d started school with. I had goals of hitting a 1st class CGPA in my 1st year and to spend the rest 4 years maintaining my good start. Besides, a 1st class CGPA would qualify me for several scholarship opportunities I’d been eyeing before setting foot into the university. But as I stood in the woods that morning, my reality was a far cry from my plans. I stared into the distance as fresh tears welled up in my eyes, blurring the beautiful trees. We all reach that moment of truth where we realise that it’s now or never. Your mistakes become so glaring it’ll be foolish to deny them. . . Moments like these are the great divide between renewed pursuit and depression; recommitment or hopeless laxity. Most people simply give in to the current and get washed away. I use to resent people for giving up until experience graced me with perspective. Let me tell you a secret, giving up is tempting. That voice plays subtly in your head until you find out your sword has slipped off your grip. You quit fighting! With no energy to continue, you accept your fate and allow life, society and people decide for you. The problem is, life, society and people won’t give you what you deserve. They will only give you what you command. I almost gave in to the temptation but a fire started in me that day. I returned to my journal and recalculated what level of performance would shift me from a 3rd class to a 2nd class (upper division) in the shortest possible time. 1st class was off limits already. Some mistakes leave you with less time and opportunity than you originally had. I saw the commitment it’ll take. It meant i will have no bustling social life for next 4 years. It meant reducing my campus life to a stiff triangle of class, Church and hostel. No room for extras! I spent the rest of my undergraduate days protecting that decision. 4 years later, that November night, I was staring at the notice board. I’d crossed into a 2nd class (upper division) at the tail end of my study. Shockingly, I realised that it wasn’t about the numbers anymore. It’s about who I have become in the process. I learned focus, diligence, self-denial, delayed gratification, planning and hard work; attributes that still serve me long after graduation. I remained in school during breaks to study for the next semester. I spent many lonely nights in class studying. Many! 😂 . I recall a compulsory design assignment we did in our 4th year. It was a semester-long project. A few colleagues of mine met me at the design studio one night. They come to work on their designs too. But after several hours, they left the studio one after the other until I was all alone. When they returned in the afternoon of the following day, they met me there still working on my designs. They claimed I must be on steroids to keep working for that long! If only they knew what’s pursuing me. I won’t advise anyone to go the extremes I went. But it was the price I had to pay for that phase. Find yours and pay it well so you can look back and say like Paul the Apostle, “I fought a good fight.” The tomorrow you want is in the price you’re paying today. Don’t camp when you should be climbing. It’s okay to rest along the way but never build a house on a spot you should only pitch a tent. Mobility is key! You may have made mistakes. We all have. Forgive yourself, learn to do it right and do it again. Give yourself another chance to change. When you change, everything changes! “𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧…𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.”— 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯. 𝟐𝟒:𝟏𝟔